寫實畫家諏訪敦和他震撼人心的作品③

在父親死、兒子生之間

諏訪敦另有一組驚世駭俗的繪畫記錄他父親的死。

Gaze, father

（注：用棉花堵塞逝者身體所有空穴有醫學考慮也是傳統習俗）

關於這幅畫，畫家在自己的網頁中這樣寫道，

To my mind, the border between a sleeping body and a corpseis a somehow a vague one. There is a resemblance with the handling of the'Sleeper' series, in the sense that both deal with metamorphosis in normallife. I did not see my father die. I was not in time to do so. Perhaps thatfueled a certain tenacity in me. After my arrival, there were about two daysleft before my father was to be cremated. We didn't have any religious ceremonywhatsoever. That gave me plenty of time to gaze at the corpse, and I managed tomake several sketches of my father's face in death. This experience taught memany things, but it also implanted a deja vu feeling like a scar deep insideme. Ordinarily, once rigor mortis has set in, the joint of the jaw is locked inthe open position. To stop this, one can close the mouth by pushing the jawupward, which takes considerable force, or tying it shut with a piece of cloth.But moisture accumulates with the passage of time, and its evaporationinevitably opens up cracks between the lips. The lips end up getting thinner.Filled with an indescribable fear, I tried smearing cream on the lips from timeto time to prevent them from drying up, but to no avail - the openings wouldstill appear. They seemed like dark slashes on the face. I was struck by theheartlessness of nature, which did not permit even this level of manipulation.The slightest disfiguration was unmistakeable indication that my father waschanging into a thing. Ever since, I have remained in the grip of thatdesperate, deep darkness I glimpsed in the narrow slits between the lips. Whenlooking through them into the dark of the small cavity of only about 1,500cubic centimeters enclosed by the skull, I felt as if I were peering down intothe ocean deep. This illusion bewildered me, and led to a number of subsequentpaintings, such as 'I Can't See Anything Anyway'.

摘譯如下（by 京夜聊）

在我心目中，睡眠與長眠界限模糊、很難分辨……我沒能守候父親臨終。我沒來得及。我覺得這讓我心中燃起一股執拗。我到父親身邊，離火化尚餘兩日。因為沒有宗教儀式，讓我有足夠時間端詳父親。我素描了幾張父親的遺容。這兩天的經歷教給我很多，也在我心中刻上極深重的傷痕。一般說，屍僵開始後，下顎會張開，必須人為合上，用一些蠻力上托下顎或借用布條。隨著體內濕氣堆積，兩唇總被撐開裂縫……按捺住心中恐懼，我一次又一次給父親抹唇油，試圖阻止乾裂。但是沒用，裂口不斷出現，看著就像傷口歷歷劃在臉上……細微但清晰可辨的內心扭曲告訴我，

父親正在蛻變為“物”……父親唇上細小裂縫中的黑暗生出的絕望，從那以後一直牢牢攫住我，當我設想透過它們看向父親被顱骨護住、只有1500立方釐米的腦內時，我覺得自己全身沒入深海。