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5 Totally WTF Myths That Pop Up In Every Culture Worldwide
五個跨洲際存在的神話
In today's hyper-connected world, it's not surprising that some legends transcend borders and become known across different cultures (like Santa, or Jesus, or Jackie Chan). What is surprising is that the same thing was already happening back when going to another continent was about as feasible as going to the moon. Somehow, there are incredibly specific -- and deeply weird -- myths that happen to turn up in places separated by both time and distance.
在這天這個高度互聯的世界裡， 一些神話（像是聖誕老人、基督或成龍）超越國界並且在不同的文化裡變得知名已經不稀奇了。
5 Evil Fanged Vaginas Are Weirdly Prolific
邪惡的陰齒出奇的多
Across thousands of miles and hundreds of cultures, men have gazed upon the female body and thought, "I have never been more terrified." How else can you explain the legend of the fanged vagina, which has found its way across practically the entire world?
Only the details vary. In some versions, the vagina itself has teeth, while in others, there's a fish or a snake living in there and biting off any member foolish enough to come poking in. It would almost seem like empowering feminine symbolism in another context, but since most storytellers were men, the heroes of the myths were usually cunning men who had to defeat the deadly vagina to get the girl.
For example, in a myth from the Native American Zuni tribe, clever twins make fake dicks out of wood and have sex with some predatory women until "their teeth were all worn out." A slightly less mean Apache myth has the hero tricking the four deadly "vagina girls" into eating some sour berries, which puckers them right up until they can "no longer chew, but only swallow."
跨越千里， 上百種文化裡， 男人凝視著女人的身體想到：“我從未如此害怕。 ”否則你怎麼解釋陰齒的神話出現在幾乎整個世界的現象？
除了一些細節不同， 在不同版本的說法裡， 有陰道裡長著牙齒， 有說裡面住著魚或蛇會把伸進來性焦的部位咬下來。 看起來像是賦予了女性以象徵意義， 但由於大多數故事的人都是男人， 所以神話中的男主角通常都是狡慧的人，
舉個例子， 一個來自美洲本土祖尼部落的神話中， 聰明的雙胞胎製作了一個木頭的假丁丁來同這些“食肉”女性性焦， 直到“她們的牙齒都被磨光”。 阿帕奇部落的神話則沒這麼耍猾， 其中的男主角誘騙四個致命的因道吃酸漿果， 直到酸得“她們”再也咬不動， 只能用吞的。
On the other side of the globe, a Japanese legend claims that a demon hid all up in a local lady and killed her first two husbands by, sure enough, chomping their boners. Somewhat unhappy with this turn of events, the woman seeks help from a local blacksmith, who builds a steel penis which breaks the demon's teeth (which is absolutely going to be our excuse the next time we ask our local blacksmith for an unbreakable iron dildo).
在地球另一端的日本有一個神話是這樣的， 一隻魔鬼藏在當地一個女人體內， 通過切丁丁殺死了她兩任丈夫。 稍微有點不爽的是事情有了轉折， 這個女人向當地的一個鐵匠尋求幫助。 鐵匠打造了一個鐵丁丁破了魔鬼的鐵齒功（這絕對會成為下次我們向我們當地的鐵匠尋求一個堅固的鋼鐵丁丁的藉口）。
A similar iron penis legend can be found in the Indian town of Dantipur. Then there's the nearby legend from Chattisgarh, wherein the hero simply yanks a snake out of there with a stick and makes it magically fix all the dicks it had eaten.
But the gold medal definitely goes to Maori mythology, which has the hero Maui crawl into the vagina of a sleeping goddess to win immortality for humans (thanks?). Unfortunately, a bird cracks up laughing at the sight, and the goddess wakes up and bites Maui in half with her obsidian cooch fangs. And that's why we're not Highlanders. We feel like there might be some hidden subtext to all of these stories, but if so, it currently escapes us.
在印度城市Dantipur也有個類似的鐵丁丁的傳說。
但是冠軍選手是毛利神話， 裡面的男主角毛伊趁著女神熟睡爬進了她的因道贏得了不朽的名聲（謝謝？）。 不幸地是， 一隻鳥看到了這副情景大笑了起來， 然後女神就醒了， 並用她的黑曜毒牙從中間咬住了毛伊。 這就是我們不是高地人的原因。 我們覺得這些故事肯定有什麼深意， 但即使如此， 我們目前也無從知曉。
4 There's A Near-Universal Legend About A Guy Getting His Eyes Gouged Out After Building Something Awesome
Let's say you're a powerful ruler, and you manage to find this once-in-a-generation genius who can build absolute masterpieces for you. After they finish the first one, do you A) ask them to do another one, obviously, B) give them a shitload of money so they can live in comfort forever, or C) start gouging out eyes and cutting off hands to keep your thing special? The last option is a surprisingly popular answer, according to an oddly pervasive myth.
Take St. Basil's Cathedral (1561), aka that building people keep thinking is the Kremlin. According to a story that's widely repeated to this day, Ivan the Terrible rewarded architect Postnik Yakovlev for this feat of engineering by blinding him. If that's the case, Yakovlev must have been an even better architect than Ivan imagined, because he went on to design other buildings. And yet the myth has continued to spread, probably because of how well it fits in with Ivan's nickname.
This isn't the only tale of a European ruler paying his contractors by mutilating them. Supposedly, after Master Hanus finished Prague's famous astronomical clock in 1410, the city's councilors paid a group of goons to sneak into his bedroom late at night and blind him with a piece of iron. Again, there's no truth to this (the clock was built by Mikulas of Kadan and Jan Sindel), but every part of the story, down to the weirdly specific method of blinding the guy, is still repeated today. Why, there's even a jolly stop-motion film about it:
Lest you think this is strictly a European myth, the Beiteddine Palace in Lebanon (1788) has the same story. Emir Bashir Shihab II had the place built as the Lebanese version of the Playboy Mansion, with a grand apartment, a harem, and a guest house that dwarfed many castles. To make sure no other ruler copied his style, the emir reportedly ordered that the head architect's hands be cut off. The architect wasn't blinded, though, so at least he could see his brand-new stumps.
But the Taj Mahal (1653) has all of them beat for the sheer scale of its mythical cost. Unlike his wimpy other counterparts, this mythical version of Shah Jahan didn't merely mutilate the head designer. Supposedly, every single one of the craftsmen had their eyes gouged and their hands cut off to make double sure they never built anything similar (they could have worked with their feet, though). Considering there were 20,000 workers, this must have taken a while.
In this case, the message behind the legends seems straightforward: Craftsmen, always get paid up front.
當建造了極致的建築後， 要摳掉建築師的眼睛
假設你是一個強勢的統治者， 並且設法找到了百年一遇的建築天才， 能給你造出完美的傑作。 你會1）要求他們再造一個，
這不是唯一的歐洲統治者殘害他們的建築師的傳說了。 據說在1410年漢娜斯大師完成布拉格著名的天文鐘後， 該市議員收買了一夥暴徒夜裡潛到他的床邊用一件鐵器戳瞎了他。
別認為只有歐洲有這種傳說， 黎巴嫩的貝特丁宮（1788）也有同樣的故事。 埃米爾·巴希爾·謝哈布二世建造了一座黎巴嫩版的花花公子大廈， 裡面有一個豪華的臥房， 有後宮嬪妃， 還有會客室， 讓眾多城堡相形見絀。 為了確保沒有其他統治者能效仿， 據說埃米爾下令將首席建築師的雙手砍去。 但這個設計師沒有被刺瞎， 所以他就能看見自己嶄新的殘肢了。
但是泰姬陵（1653）卻以其神話的絕對規模打敗了上面的所有的對手。 不同于這些弱爆的對手，沙賈汗的神話版本不僅僅砍掉了首席設計師。據說，每一個參與的工匠都被摳掉了眼睛，砍掉了雙手以雙倍確保他們不會再建一個類似的建築了（雖然還有腳可以用）。考慮到共有2萬名工匠，做完這件事情肯定要花費一番功夫。
在這種案例的神話中表達出來的資訊就是：工匠要先收錢再幹活。
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不同于這些弱爆的對手，沙賈汗的神話版本不僅僅砍掉了首席設計師。據說，每一個參與的工匠都被摳掉了眼睛，砍掉了雙手以雙倍確保他們不會再建一個類似的建築了（雖然還有腳可以用）。考慮到共有2萬名工匠，做完這件事情肯定要花費一番功夫。在這種案例的神話中表達出來的資訊就是：工匠要先收錢再幹活。
……
全文共3519字
PC端http://translate.ltaaa.com/article/1745
手機端http://translate.ltaaa.com/mobile/article/1745
更多精品請登錄龍騰網http://www.ltaaa.com/